Teen Center
How to Support a Friend
There are many steps that each of us can take when we learn that someone we know is experiencing dating violence, such as asking the victim if they are okay and what you can do to help, telling a trusted adult, or offering the victim resources and information.
It’s often a simple act from a caring bystander that can be a lifeline to someone experiencing dating abuse, which is why being educated on the issue and knowing where to get help is so important.
Be an Active Bystander
This tool is called Know What to Do: Help Someone Experiencing Domestic or Dating Violence.
Use it to start a conversation with anyone you know or suspect is experiencing abuse and to find ways you can support them.
Safety Planning
It can be difficult for someone outside of the relationship to understand, but it is very hard to end an abusive relationship.
One way to help the victim stay safe is to create a personalized, practical plan that can help them avoid dangerous situations and identify the best steps to take if they are in danger.
Visit loveisrespect.org for an Interactive Guide to Safety Planning.
Want to write it out instead? Download loveisrespect.org’s Teen’s Guide or College Student’s Guide to safety planning.
Here are some tips when creating a plan to help keep someone safe:
- Listen and be supportive. Allow the person to make their own decisions.
- Don’t judge, blame, or belittle. The person’s partner may already put them down, and their self-esteem may be low.
- Connect the person to help and resources in their area.
- Don’t post about the person on social networking sites. Never use social media to reveal their current location or where they hang out.
Finally, don’t give up. Ending any relationship, especially an abusive one, is complicated, and those experiencing dating violence need strong support systems in order to do so. Read more about the importance of support systems at loveisrespect.org.
Helpline Available 24/7
The confidential statewide Helpline can be reached by calling 1-800-494-8100 or using the online chat here. The Helpline is for all victims of violent crime, including domestic and dating abuse, and those looking for more information to help a victim of violence.