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With your help, we've made great strides in the movement to end domestic violence in Rhode Island. We now invite you to stand with us, our task force of domestic violence survivors (SOAR - Sisters Overcoming Abusive Relationships), and six member agencies (Blackstone Valley Advocacy Center, Domestic Violence Resource Center of South County, Elizabeth Buffum Chace Center, Sojourner House, Women's Center of RI, Women's Resource Center) on March 11 as we let local leaders KNOW that we must all come together to prevent domestic violence.
Future generations need us to do the work involved in creating healthy communities that are free of violence. Our children have a right to a peaceful world where the threat of domestic violence no longer exists. Building this future is our responsibility and can be our legacy.
So please join us as we propel our movement forward on this special day. Let our collective presence send the message that the statewide domestic violence community is strong and committed to this issue. NO MORE. Together we can prevent and end domestic violence.
Visit our policy center for more information about NO MORE Day and prevention efforts in Rhode Island.
Register here if you're planning to attend! Sign up for legislative action text alerts to stay in the KNOW about our activities this legislative season. Simply text the word prevent to 51555 to receive text message updates from the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence. (By subscribing, you agree to the terms and conditions for messaging and mobile giving.Text help for technical support or stop to unsubscribe to 51555. Standard message and data rates may apply.)
by Jessica McCauley
Child Counselor, Sojourner House
It was late summer, 2012, and Todd Akin, a Republican member of the House of Representatives from Missouri running for a 2012 U.S. Senate seat, was being interviewed on St. Louis television. He had just answered a question about his views on women who became pregnant due to rape and whether they should have the option of abortion. He also gave us one of the year's most ridiculous catch-phrases and menacingly misguided statements on the topics of women's health and violence against women uttered during the 2012 election:
"First of all, from what I understand from doctors, that’s really rare. If it’s a legitimate rape, the female body has ways to try to shut that whole thing down."
Outrage ensued. One reason is because Akin's remarks came after decades of research, advocacy, systems change, and public engagement, especially work that revealed the prevalence of acquaintance rape (also called date rape). Whereas a common misconception about "legitimate" rapists is that they are strangers that jump out of bushes or dark alleys, the reality is that most often sexual assaults are committed by is a friend, family member or date.
But Representative Akin's statement also brought up the question: What kind of rape isn't legitimate in the eyes of Akin and others who share his views?
"What kind of rape isn't legitimate?"
For women's equality advocates and those trying to end violence against women, it was not a surprise to hear that someone had views like those expressed by Akin (though it was maybe surprising that he would make them in as compounded a public arena as a television interview in an election year). Here are some other aspects of sexual assault that are opposed, misconceived, disbelieved, unacknowledged or misconstrued:
Yes, No, and a Better Understanding of Consent
Another topic that is commonly misunderstood is the issue of permission and "consent." Human rights law and standards in the International Criminal Court includes the following statement: "Consent need not be expressed, and may be implied from the context and from the relationship of the parties, but the absence of objection does not of itself constitute consent. In other words, a lack of a no is not a yes! For example, a person who seems uncomfortable, unsure or hesitant about a sexual act is not consenting, even if they have not specifically used the word no. An individual who cares about the feelings, wishes and desires of their partner will notice that they are not willing. While people should be encouraged to speak up, it is also imperative to recognize the past life experiences that may make this difficult for some to do so.
Another misconception about consent is that it need only be given once. This comes into play with marital, or spousal, rape (a form of domestic violence); while now outlawed in every state, the last state to enact this law did so in 1993! (The first was in 1975.) There are still some countries where it is not an official crime, because historically consent was assumed in the marriage contract (National Center for victims of Crime.) However, no matter how many times two people have had sex in the past, a partner must give consent each and every time.
Imagine this: an annual holiday where he has to face his abuser; a date with a fellow student that goes too far; an uncle who spends more and more time with his niece; a husband who forces his wife to engage in sex as part of a cycle of violence he imposes. This is the reality for many:
Conflicting feelings may arise within a person who is taken advantage of by someone they cared for and/or trusted. Complicated or not, all victims of sexual assault face "legitimate" challenges and barriers to overcome, and perpetrators and rapists are the ones that need to be shut down.
So as we look back at 2012, and at the words of Congressman Akin, we recognize both a low point in terms of how misinformed and out-of-touch some really are about sexual assaults and women's health, and a high point in terms of the number of people across the country who responded in outrage to his remarks. Nationally and here in RI the community is saying NO MORE to domestic violence and sexual assault. And like those who voted for Akin's opponent, we are also saying NO MORE to leaders who are misinformed, disconnected, or working without our best interest in mind. For more information, visit www.nomoreri.org or call 401-467-9940.